i earned these tears!

I haven't left my bed in days
I've been calling my Teddy Bear your name
Under mountains of tissues
And a few takeout menus
Find my pillows
All mascara stained

Can't I read our old messages in peace?
Hit the bottom of a pint of ice cream
Without friends always knocking
As if I'll be unlocking my door
And rejoining society

Please don't pity my pity party

I earned these tears I fought for years
Only to lose to lick my wounds
So let me cry, stay home tonight
Don't wanna heal
I earned these tears
(I'm not getting better)
(Don't wanna get better)
(I'm not getting better)
(Don't wanna get better)

If I scream at the sky
Asking "Why me?"
Pick apart every argument
Maybe listening back
To your voicemails
In meticulous detail
Will lead me to
Some sort of clarity

How am I expected
To just move on?
Had our wedding bands picked out
And now what?

Does that heal someone dressed up
Go and kiss someone random
Something about that
That feels so wrong

Leave your pity
I'll leave the party

I earned these tears I fought for years
Only to lose, to lick my wounds
So let me cry, stay home tonight
Don't wanna heal, I earned these tears

I should strike up a bonfire, pour the gasoline
Over birthday card, clippings
From bride magazines
Rip your shirt from my body
That I've slept in most nights
Let it burn with plane tickets
Concert stubs, wine
From the very first bottle
From the very first date
When you worshipped the spark
But couldn't nurture the flame
I deserve to disintegrate us
Like you did
But I can't bring the match
To our Photo Booth strip

I'm not ready
Let me mourn, just let me

I earned these tears
I've had for years
Only to lose to lick my wounds

So let me cry, stay home tonight
Don't wanna heal
I earned these tears

(Why me, why me)
(Why did it have to be, have to be)
(Why me, why me)
(Why did it have to be, have to be)



Credits
Writer(s): Allegra Jordyn Maizels, John Timothy Bongiovanni, Melina Katherine Bertsekas
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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