1-800 Suicide

Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide

So you wanna die? Commit suicide?
Dial 1-800-Cyanide line
Far as life, yo it ain't worth it
Put a rope around your neck and jerk it

The trick didn't work
Your life was fucked up from the first day of birth
After watchin' Jackie Gleason walk into a precinct
Gun down the captain for no fuckin' reason

And get some LSD, or a drink from the bar
Get behind your wheel and crash the car
Like Desert Storm, got bombs for the war
Confront an alligator, let it eat ya raw

Back to the function, ridin' the caboose to Hell
Bzzzzzt! Touched the third rail
Ya fucked up chicken, now you just got fried
'Cause it's a suicide

Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide

Hey you little rich kid, what's your beef?
Come and tell the Grym Reaper all o' your grief
You asked for a Benz and you only got a Jeep
Your pop's got ends, but yo he's mad cheap

Maybe you're a bastard child ya think
Mom and dad are white and you're dark as ink
Maybe you're Sicilian with a tan
But you hate lasagna and the pizza man

Now ya stand on the Gravedigga plot
And you're singin' the blues about the rough life you've got
(Not!) Ya don't wanna live no more
I guess you're really ready for the graveyard tour

When you get home just fill up your windows and your doors
Turn your oven on high for about four hours
Light you a blunt, kiss your ass goodbye
Ya gassed yaself 'cause it's a suicide

Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide

Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide
Suicide, it's a suicide biddy-bye-bye!
Suicide, it's a suicide

(Yep, I've said it before and I'll say it again)
(Life moves pretty fast)
(If you don't stop and look around every once in a while)
(You'll miss it)

Six fuckin' devils stepped up playin' brave God
Had the fuckin' nerve to try and enter my graveyard
I'm the RZArector, be my sacrifice
Commit suicide and I'll bring ya back to life

The first was convinced, stuck a water hose
In his mouth at full blast so his head can explode
Second one said, "Mmm, that's good but I can top it"
Put an axe up to his head and then he chopped it

Blood shot out in every direction
The rest didn't know what to do, I made suggestions
Put a slug in your mug, overdose on a drug
Wet your hair stick a knife in the plug

Or be like Richard Pryor set your balls on fire
Better yet, go hang yourself with a barbed wire
Three and Four fell deep into spell and
Ran to the zoo, locked themselves in a lion's den

Number Five said it ain't worth bein' alive
Smoked a dust joint, mixed it with cyanide
The only one to escape was number Six
He went home, sat in the tub and slit his wrists

Yeah, more graves to dig, goodbye!
There's no need to cry - 'cause we all die