Fan The Flames

Once upon a time, I was a boy afraid to tell the world my feelings
And how I held the animosity that I was feeling
I let everyone walk over me
That's not the way it's supposed to be
I took too much for granted, but that's the older me

Now I click my heels together, 'cause I'm sending bitches out to Kansas
Any problem that I have, I'll find a way to manage
I've been hurt so much before; it's far too late to bandage
Now I move accordingly to take over the planet

Bills got me in panic
Need money like bandit
I've been up and down so much these past few years, you would think I was manic
The depressive episodes that I'd get had me thinking I should've killed myself
I was afraid for all the people it would hurt, but I know how to live for myself

I love you, Helen, Brittany
Maria Carmen, and Ki-Ki
Conner, Patrick, and Maj, Reily, Gabe; believe in Benji
I know you see me
Know you feel me
And I love you for it
Now listen up, I'm not the same Ben you knew before

Fuck standing on business, dumbass, I'm standing on feelings
Create my boundaries, breaking the walls and the ceilings
You can't box me up, and you can't call my bluff
Because there's not a bluff to call bitch, the going's been tough

At this point in life, I don't really give a damn if I fan the flames
Stir the pot, ruffle feathers, I don't care the name
I don't care the shade of green; the grass gets cut the same
I am not afraid of getting burned when I fan the flames

Call it"problematic" I call it"addressing issues"
I call it"confrontation" because I'm tired of being misused
Call it"accountability" but for you hoes, I call it"kryptonite"
Before I drop the bomb, I guess I can fan the flames

Don't come in my space offering input, or you bitches will get put out
Fuck the output; I'm tired of putting my good foot out
Tired of turning the other cheek, tired of taking the good route
Tired of having these awkward conversations with my foot mouth

Tired of pulling out of tight spots after I turn off the light
Like I'm allergic to prophylactics, saying"It wouldn't feel right"
But I was a part of the problem because, I didn't really wanna speak up for myself
Afraid of loneliness and conflict, couldn't be by myself

Absent father, past issues with mama
Then I'm a punk sissy, bullied by grandpapa
Younger sister molested by her own fucking father
A man I had as the closest thing to my own father

Opinions shut down; wasn't allowed to speak out
A child of subjugation, no identity to seek out
But look at me now
I don't really give a damn who freaks out
I'm kicked back with my feet out
'Cause ain't nobody hurting me now

At this point in life, I don't really give a damn if I fan the flames
Stir the pot, ruffle feathers, I don't care the name
I don't care the shade of green; the grass gets cut the same
I am not afraid of getting burned when I fan the flames

Call it"problematic" I call it"addressing issues"
I call it"confrontation" because I'm tired of being misused
Call it"accountability" but for you hoes, I call it"kryptonite"
Before I drop the bomb, I guess I can fan the flames