Getting Older

It's so weird

I'm getting older, I think I'm aging well
I wish someone had told me I'd be doing this by myself
There's reasons that I'm thankful, there's a lot I'm grateful for
But it's different when a stranger's always waiting at your door

Which is ironic, 'cause, the strangers seem to want me more than anyone before
(Anyone before)
Too bad they're usually deranged

Last week, I realized I crave pity
When I retell a story, I make everything sound worse
Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing
And maybe that's the reason why each sentence sounds rehearsed

Which is ironic, 'cause when I wasn't honest
I was still being ignored (lying for attention, just to get neglection)
Now, we're estranged

Things I once enjoyed (ah)
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for (ah)
Someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird, oh, it's so weird
That we care so much until we don't

I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders
But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong
I'm happier than ever, at least, that's my endeavor
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure

'Cause, to be honest, I just wish that what I promise
Would depend on what I'm given (not on his permission)
Wasn't my decision to be abused

Things I once enjoyed (ah)
Just keep me employed now
Things I'm longing for (ah)
Someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird, so weird
Oh, we care so much, until we don't

Yeah, oh-oh-oh, ooh
And we care so much
Until we don't

But next week, I hope I'm somewhere laughing
For anybody asking, I promise I'll be fine
I've had some trauma, felt things I didn't wanna
Was too afraid to tell ya, but now I think it's time