Searching For A Former Clarity

No, the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying
They just collected their money and sent you on your way
But you knew all along, went on pretending nothing was wrong
You said "I will keep my focus till the end"

And in the journal you kept by the side of your bed
You wrote nightly, in aspiration, of developing as an author
Confessing childhood secrets of dressing up in women's clothes
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to

Will everyone you ever meet or love
Be just a relationship based on a false presumption?
Despite everyone you ever meet or love
In the end, will you be all alone?

As the disease spreads slowly through your body
Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs
Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last
Your coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade

As your hair thinned, as the weight fell off
As your teeth blackened, as the lesions spotted your skin
As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage
As you offered witness to mortality in exchange for the ticket price

As the lights blended into the continuing noise
As all hope was finally lost
Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition

Let this be the end
Let this be the last song
Let this be the end
Let all be forgiven