Real Man

(I wish there was some real men around here, you know?)
(Oh, you read my mind girlfriend, I would kill for a real man)

Real ties, don't mess with the clip
I got a Blackberry strapped to my hip
Open a jar with my bare hands
You know I can do it cause I'm a real man

Real man, that's my name
Take my card, I do insurance claims
Ate a meal and I ask for the check
But not with my words, I'm just moving my neck

Got a full beard right on my face
You want a beer? I got a case
Grillin' up burgers before it gets dark
I could teach you how to parallel park

Said you wanted a date with
But do you have what it takes to be
With a real man like me?

Reading the news
Shining my shoes
I'm a real man
I'm a real man

Eat food with my hands
Drive a hybrid sedan
I'm a real man
I'm a real man

I go to therapy twice a week
I have a hair and skincare routine
Medication for my BPD
Makin' my bed and keep my room clean

Hey man, gay son or thot daughter?
I would love both as their father
I take the time to process my feelings
Stand with the ladies, let's break the glass ceiling

Real man, favorite color's purple
Pull up to the boys, have a sharing circle
Always stay in touch with our emotions
Hop out the shower and I'm rubbin' on lotion

Check the horoscope once a day
I don't even care what people say
I'm not afraid to give my bro flowers
By the way, we have mystical powers
(Powers, powers, powers)

It's not out of reach
Listen close, I can teach you to be
A real man like me (say it again y'all)

(Oh) It's not out of reach
(Oh) Listen close, I can teach you to be (oh)
A real man like me (oh, oh, oh)

I'm from another planet
But I was raised in Kansas
I'm a real man
I'm a real man

I drive a tractor
Got a healing factor
I'm a real man
I'm a real man

Take care of my kids
And I can talk to squids
I'm a real man
I'm a real man

I can hear your thoughts
Stop thinking about that
I'm a real man
I'm a real man



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