Dear (Radio Edit)

Dear expectant girlfriend
Of almost ex-husband
His progeny slows you down
Realize you've already drowned?
Grant yourself clemency
For sleeping with the enemy
Soon enough you'll sense the threat
you just don't know it yet

I'm not at all jealous
Not gonna climb your trellis
I can teach what his tell is
Your love for him is zealous
But he's the lyin' kind
Sorry I called you cross-eyed
I'm not good at being unkind
You are me a decade behind

Dear pregnant girlfriend
Of not-quite ex-husband
You carry him to date
I carry your pregnancy weight
You deserve clemency
For sleeping with the enemy
Soon enough you'll sense the threat
You just don't know it yet

Perhaps we would be friends
In a parallel dimension
Although he's a lemon
He does have great taste in women
I can admit that much
So if you need me, get in touch
Stay out of his warpath
When you start to fear his wrath
(And you will fear his wrath)

Dear expectant girlfriend
Of sadistic ex-husband
Your supply feeds his demand
You're outside-in - I know firsthand
For sleeping with the enemy
Some much needed clemency
Soon enough you'll sense the threat
You just don't know it yet

It's his words and soulless eyes
Not his violence I despise
Violence is a symptom
Sociopath playing victim
Now you carry his spawn
So before battle lines are drawn
Here's my deduction
He's capable of destruction

Dear ex-husband
Consider me accustomed
She can have you, honey bun
You were just my dry run
You're not my f****** problem
Slot yourself in her column
I never loved you, Gollum
I never loved you, Gollum

Dear expectant girlfriend
Of abusive ex-husband
His progeny slows you down
Do you know you've already drowned?
You sleep with my enemy
But I grant you clemency
Very soon you'll sense the threat
Don't you fret
He just hasn't shown you yet
He's not even my ex quite yet