My Whole Family…
Everytime I go to dinner
Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk; well, they're not able
When I look at them I find
There's a single question on their mind
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe its 'cause of the way that I walk
Makes them think I like... boys
That I like boys
The goddamn question just won't go away
And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise
Like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
This is the worst; baby, this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal-clear
Because
My whole family now is shocked
I'm in the closet and the door is locked
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John
My whole family now suspects
Watching Spongebob had side-effects
"I'm not gay" and that's what I said
If I'm gay, hey God, strike me dead, you know?
That's weird
Just 'cause I'm on the cheerleading team
Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme
When I go outside what do I see?
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G
Because
I think that god might think I'm gay
What does he know anyway?
My grandma gave me a present, just last year
And the card said "Happy birthday, Queer"
My whole family thinks I'm fab
"There's a guy's butt; Hey Bo, take a stab"
"C'mon
Why doesn't he get women? There's no other way"
It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay, alright?
Not cause I'm gay
Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow
Or my favorite color is the rainbow
It's a joke
I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must
'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust
Because
Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay
Just kidding
You all probably think I'm gay
Man, this song is counterproductive
La la la la la
Because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
What do they know anyway?
You gotta look right through the haze
Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase
My whole family thinks I'm queer
That is all I ever hear
But I've been as straight as a ramp
If you don't count Bible camp
Bible camp
I'm not gay, I swear
Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk; well, they're not able
When I look at them I find
There's a single question on their mind
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe its 'cause of the way that I walk
Makes them think I like... boys
That I like boys
The goddamn question just won't go away
And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise
Like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
This is the worst; baby, this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal-clear
Because
My whole family now is shocked
I'm in the closet and the door is locked
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John
My whole family now suspects
Watching Spongebob had side-effects
"I'm not gay" and that's what I said
If I'm gay, hey God, strike me dead, you know?
That's weird
Just 'cause I'm on the cheerleading team
Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme
When I go outside what do I see?
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G
Because
I think that god might think I'm gay
What does he know anyway?
My grandma gave me a present, just last year
And the card said "Happy birthday, Queer"
My whole family thinks I'm fab
"There's a guy's butt; Hey Bo, take a stab"
"C'mon
Why doesn't he get women? There's no other way"
It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay, alright?
Not cause I'm gay
Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow
Or my favorite color is the rainbow
It's a joke
I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must
'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust
Because
Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay
Just kidding
You all probably think I'm gay
Man, this song is counterproductive
La la la la la
Because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
What do they know anyway?
You gotta look right through the haze
Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase
My whole family thinks I'm queer
That is all I ever hear
But I've been as straight as a ramp
If you don't count Bible camp
Bible camp
I'm not gay, I swear
Credits
Writer(s): Bo Burnham
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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