These Highs

And these highs don't work
But it feels good
And these girls don't help
But the thrills good
I might pull that card
If the deals good
Lots weighing on my mind
But I'm still good

Uh
I walk with a smile on my face
But I feel numb from my head to my waist
Can't pin-point what I feels in the brain
Never been through trauma
But my soul feels laced
Everything seems gray
And life's so basic
Only feel alive when my heartbeats racing
Liquor stops time so my thoughts be spacing
And I know my demons on a first name basis
I wonder
What I gotta do
Who I gotta be
How I mend this heart
Who i gotta see
I tried meditation and the therapy
But emotions in my head
Won't go away it's scaring me
I look in the mirror and I see myself
Mamma told me always work hard
And be myself
But i only feel me when i free myself
And i know its no good damn

And these highs don't work
But it feels good
And these girls don't help
But the thrills good
I might pull that card
If the deals good
Lots weighing on my mind
But I'm still good

Fake niggas
And fake streams
And false image
I know this game is a front
But seem to fall in it
False hope that maybe
I might just might make it big
My homies tell me im crazy
Go find another gig
But what else is there to do
When it's either
Work for the man
Sells drugs rap or hoop like
How im posed to find a purpose
Maybe god'll tell me
While im jotting down these verses
Too many homies I seen
End up in them hearses
My cousin mamma
Seen her crying in them churches
My nigga pops aint been around
But he means well
I think its time for us to
Enter sunday service
I read if its a will there a way
God will me and my homies out these chains
You said that you got me if i belive
Lord tell me who to be

And these highs don't work
But it feels good
And these girls don't help
But the thrills good
I might pull that card
If the deals good
Lots weighing on my mind
But I'm still good

I had visions of greats things
And great schemes
Now I'm struggling stressing
All in my late teens
Over money and fame
And niggas hating
Cause I don't fit in the picture
That y'all been painting.

I ain't a sellout a sucker
I'll never sell my soul
But want it so bad
Niggas don't even know
Comparing myself to Kendrick
And even j cole
And still gots a long way to
While im writng rhymes
That leave you speechless
My hearts broken into two peices
But this time i found a greater purpose
I'm onto new beginnings
Think I need a new thesis

My aim nows to follow in ya word
You be the Sheppard
I'm just flocking in the herd...