Greatest Show on Earth

I'm in the lobby of the motel late
Waitin' on my lovely date
Her name is Doris Day

I'm in a suit of Burgundy
There's a deer head lookin' at me
It's blowin' my mind away

Everyone knows she's the killin' kind
She keeps a .38 smith and wesson at her side
I put a pistol in my pants
'Cause were going out to dance
Where the water drinks like cherry wine

Tell me mama, so it seems
Your son's been a bad marine
They're shippin' him home tonight

Tell me mama was your other son
In jail with the other one?
You mustn't have raised 'em right

I heard your low-life husband shout
It got me to wondering what the scene was all about
He said, "I'm breakin' my parole
Goin' down to Jericho
Get me that money, or I'ma beat it out"

Ooh, happy days are here!
It's the perfect summer night
And the moonlight's shining clear
Put your pistol in your purse
'Cause we're goin' to Gettysburg
To the stand of the Greatest Show on earth

Is that your daughter Mr. Kissinger?
Better keep an eye on her
She been lookin' me up and down

Is that your woman in the coat of fur?
Better keep an eye on her
This is a ravenous part of town

I know about you and the deputy
And how they found him shot dead in a Mercury
Some say you're paid to kill
Like that mean ole Buffalo Bill
Watch it, buddy! Huh, don't draw no gun on me!

Ooh, happy days are here!
It's the perfect summer night
And the moonlight's shining clear
Put a pistol in your purse
'Cause we're goin' to Gettysburg
To the stand of the Greatest Show on earth