Note To Self

Man I know about the loneliness
That place is where I lost most of my holiness
Feeling so alone
That even God felt like an unreal bliss
Crazy, cuz it feels like I have made myself a holy mess
Night after night
Staying up, man I can't get no rest
Thinking 'bout the people that I was put on earth to protect
Always felt like I was made for more
But now I'm feeling less
And less
I feel people staring at me
Naked, but I ain't undressed
Every day I'm waking up and feeling this unholy stress
You ask me how I'm doing, bro
Why don't you just take a guess
My heart weighing heavy
Known kid
Still ain't no one wanna carry the weight
When I'm up, they all smile in my face
When I'm down, I know some of them hate
This the least that I have ever felt
It is kinda scary
How the numbness makes me feel the best
So I'm working harder than I ever have
Acquire wealth
Writing all these lyrics
So I'm calling this my Note To Self
Deem it noted not to trust again
People are just selfish
And you can never guess their intent
Now I'm waving all this pain farewell
What does it feel like to be loved
Tell me, I forget
Letting go of all the happiness
Popping all these pills
To make me feel like I can feel again
Smoke another pound
Get me so high, in the sky
Cuz it feels like that's the only way that I can get to heaven
I don't know what is going on
All my life, I been holding on
To you
To you
To you

To you
I'm not afraid anymore
I'm letting you go
Fell in love with my soul
And my touch turned to gold
And I know deep in my heart
That we'll be rewarded
For our strength and resilience
So please don't give up



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