The Perils of Being a Superhero

Well there's a question mark at the back of my brain
I must confess it might be slightly insane, but I
Lie awake nights trying to find the solution, could be
High technology or even evolution
Here's the point, can you answer me this? What does
Spiderman do when he's busting for a gypsy's kiss
He is trapped in a skin tight onesie
Far as I can see it's not designed for easy
Ingress and access, there's no way at all that he can
Grapple with his tackle when he feels the call
Someone help me please, 'cos I'm getting in a state
How does Spiderman cope when he needs to micturate?

And so technology; assume that anything is possible
The fabric round his packet might be capable of letting all that
Stored up piss permeate to the outside
But if it did his legs would stink like a urinal
So there must be another answer
No superhero wants to smell like their pants are
The trousers of a tramp, like they are an alcoholic with a
Stain down the front while they're trying to save the planet

And evolution, let's talk about the accident that has
Altered his genetics with his spider sense
Is it possible to posit there are other effects that have
Changed the way his body deals with effluents?
Because spiders, they don't need to have a slash, it's all
Mixed up with the poop that comes out of their ass but this
Doesn't help me, still awake in my bed, what does
Spiderman do when he feels the turtle's head?

Well let's break this down
Let me feel your fingers
Magic fingers
Gimme those fingers
Yeah

Well there's a question mark at the back of my brain
I must confess it might be slightly insane, but I
Lie awake nights trying to find the solution, could be
High technology or even evolution
So here's the point, can you answer me this?
What does Spiderman do when he's busting for a number two
He is trapped in a skin tight onesie
As far as I can see it's not designed for easy
Ingress and access, there's no way at all he can
Open up a hatch, and empty out his bowels
Someone help me please, if you can, if you're able
What does Spiderman do when he needs to lay some cable?