Did You Even Love Me

Now I look back did you even love me
Or were you just somebody
To stand beside and get fed when you're hungry
While you lie behind me finding love in Cali
With a stranger getting high in an ally

My ears can't take the lies
Bullets flying like it's a trump rally
One pierced my heart the other hit my diary
I told you everything, everything about me
I kept your secrets proudly
Now it's just whispers that surround me

My vanity is laughing at me always looking classy
Life was good living like the great gatsby
In love madly so I thought
Guess happily ever after was just acting
I was wrong, sadly

Maybe I should think about this rationally
I'll go grab my things and start packing
These thoughts I'm still battling
The memories keep rattling
I thought love was meant for two
Like two swans on the lake paddling

That one hurt a bit
Let me sit and let me think
What I'd do to make you quit
On everything we've built
Curled up in this quilt
Fighting over guilt
Maybe I should just take these pills
And forget the pain for real

You know what scratch that
Let me try and patch that
Even though it's hard and I don't want to
I still forgive you I'm not here to taunt you
Sin might try to haunt get you to misconstrued

Forgiveness takes time and the pain to dilute
There's still hope for the future the wound can get sutured
The path to redemption starts with a steward
Ready to maneuver the path best suited

I know how this sounds forgiveness pronounced
Before even asked of feels like a white glove
Pity to a person with a mask on emotions to blast off
About to blow the mast off

Thankful for God's mercy it's deep like an ocean
Caught by the wind of grace the sacrifice of his son
Gives me freedom to run the race for his kingdom
He paid the lump sum and released my burden

Did you even love me
I guess that was the question
It's hard to tell frankly
No need for a confession
I'm fine without the answer
We both sang the melody
The past is forgotten
I'll see you in eternity