Shitcreek Saloon

Met my buddies down at Shit Creek
That ol' dive where the floors creak

The jukebox crooned a lonesome tune
Smell of cheap whiskey, the dust in the room
We laughed 'bout the night when Old Man Joe
Got tossed out for throwin' a mean left blow
But tonight felt different, had a weight in the air
As the regulars sipped on their drinks without care

Oh, the fists flew fast, and the bottles shattered
In the Shit Creek Saloon where the cheap dreams scattered
From laughter to chaos, it happened so fast
In a brawl over whiskey, we lost all our class
Life's a wild ride, ain't nothing quite clear
In the heart of that dive, we found out our fears

Then came a fella with a chip on his shoulder
His eyes were wild, and the night got colder
He shouted at Tommy for spillin' his drink
Next thing I knew, we were all on the brink
The barstools flew like confetti in the sky
And that sticky old floor caught every poor guy
I tasted the smoke, saw the splintered wood fly
As the brawl raged on under the flickering light

Oh, the fists flew fast, and the bottles shattered
In the Shit Creek Saloon where the cheap dreams scattered
From laughter to chaos, it happened so fast
In a brawl over whiskey, we lost all our class
Life's a wild ride, ain't nothing quite clear

In the heart of that dive, we found out our fears

When the dust settled down, and the lights dimmed low
We picked up the pieces, bruised and aglow
But the laughter returned as we raised our last round
At the Shit Creek Saloon, where our friendship was found

Oh, the fists flew fast, and the bottles shattered
In the Shit Creek Saloon where the cheap dreams scattered
From laughter to chaos, it happened so fast
In a brawl over whiskey, we lost all our class
Life's a wild ride, ain't nothing quite clear
In the heart of that dive, we found out our fears

So if you find yourself down at that bar
With cheap whiskey flowing and friends who go far
Remember the night when we all came alive
At the Shit Creek Saloon, where the wild hearts thrive

The Shit Creek Saloon was hoppin' on a Friday night
Drunks and whores, outlaws and scum all
Fightin' for their right to party hard

Whiskey flowed like water, cheap rotgut that'd make you blind
But it didn't stop these rowdy bastards from
Downing shot after shot in a frenzy wild &
Unrefined!

Two rival gangs occupied opposite ends of the bar
Glaring at each other with murderous stares
Trouble brewing like a nasty storm about to burst apart

Saloon Shootout Spectacular!
Bullets flyin', blood spillin', bodies hit the floor
Ain't no place I'd rather be than here in this gory war!

First punch thrown by some drunk cowpoke named Jake
Knocked out one of them gangsters cold as he
Staggered back then fell face first into
Whiskey-soaked sawdust flooring 'neath his feet

Next thing ya know pistols are drawn faster than lightnin'
Pop pop pop went gunshots echoing through
Saloon air thick with smoke & stench of cordite's acrid bite

Barmaids screamed runnin' for cover as slugs
Tore through flesh leaving gaping wounds that
Sprayed blood in gory arcs
Men fell left & right, some dead before they hit

The ground while others writhed moanin' in

Agony as life seeped away

When the smoke cleared and gunfire ceased

There was only one man still standin' amid
Carnage - a grizzled old outlaw named Black
Jack McGraw who'd survived by sheer luck alone!

He stood there over his fallen foes, pistol
Smoking barrel pointed down at corpses
Strewn across saloon floorboards slick with
Spilled whiskey & blood mingling together like
A twisted cocktail of death!

McGraw let out a cackle then staggered off
Into night... another Shit Creek Saloon
Shootout Spectacular now just grim history