Existential Credentials

I saw a friend who asked how I was feelin' the other day
For the life of me I could not recall
Recently I've been feelin' I'm back to my old ways
Have I even made progress at all?

I'm feelin' a little bit deranged
Cos everyday it's getting harder to explain
How everytime that I win
I feel I lose

I'm falling deeper everyday
And no matter what those closest to me say
I always seem to find a new way to come
Unglued

So
I'm just feelin' a little burnt out
No please don't ask me how I'm feelin' now
Cos
I never know what it's all about
My ambiguity is world renowned
But
I know its not

Too late
Yeah everybody can see that I'm
Getting caught at the end of the line
And I sure ain't short on good advice
Like
To stand up
Take the loss and re-energise
Take the power back and make it divine
But I can't seem to internalise

Cos

I'm sick of my heart always trying to beat out my chest
I'm sick of constantly being so fuckin' obsessed
With all these putrid thoughts that never fail to poison my head
Terrifying realisation that this might never

End

I don't want these thoughts within me
Corroding my expression
But I can't stress enough that life seems
Beyond my comprehension

Everyday is the same
I've got no fight left
There's no pain only grey
As a self defence

I really hope what you're saying has some truth because
It's about time that I felt alive