My Journey

After every relationship, I skipped downtime
Trying to fill that empty hole in my soul with any girl I can find
They'd ask me what's my type it was anyone that likes me
Hadn't learned discernment and makin em earn a spot in my life see
So healing past trust issues was unlikely
I be thinking the best version of myself is a pipe dream
Wish I could smoke it (cough) after that toke hits
On the list of all my exes I just begged to be noticed
X's and O's miss tic tac toe's no focus
Explained my thoughts and feelings I'm hearing you must be smokin
Some hard dope in cuz you ain't makin no sense
But how can I when my mind has no job paying no rent
Livin, straight homeless, heart having no home then
I have been noticin' I put chicks where my own soul should fit
Always spoken on positives introspection
While denying how hard that is with no direction
They don't respect it, but the truth of the matter is
How can you gain something from them that you don't really feel
Deep inside I always denied
The tears through years I would fear when my spirit cried
And then it died, flatlined, but I never mourned it
The weeping that endured through the night lasted past morning
Joy never came, just more pain
And more rain thinking it's just a game
But who's to blame, except myself
Gotta find a way to pick up the pieces to fix my health
Broken and shattered, emotionally battered
Never being understood, thought that should be what matters
Thoughts always scattered, just trying to focus
Uplifting everyone else has always been what my goal is
What about me, blinded by lust can't see
Fakin' like I'm safe on top of the mountain while in valleys
Logical fallacy, how bad can it be
But though writing this found enlightenment finally
Think I can breathe (inhale) rest (exhale)
Feel the air in my chest, and in my lungs
Where did that come from
G-O-D maybe, or could be my deceased mom
Talking to ancestors, increased the calm
Learning I have answers, through all my qualms

My journey, of healing myself
Revealing how I've been bad for my own health
This is my journey, this is my journey
This is my journey, of healing myself
Revealing how I've been bad for my own health
This is my journey, this is my journey



Credits
Writer(s): Tamell Bailey
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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