So Long, Mom (A Song For World War III)

(Introduction, spoken:)
This year we've been celebrating the hundredth anniversary
of the civil war and the fiftieth anniversary of the beginning
of World War I and the twentieth anniversary of the end of
World War II. So all in all, it's been a good year for the
war buffs. And a number of LPs and television specials have
come out capitalizing on all this nostalgia, with particular
emphasis on the songs of the various wars.
I feel that if any songs are gonna come out of World War III,
we'd better start writing them now. I have one here. Might call
it a bit of pre-nostalgia.
This is the song that some of the boys sang as they went
bravely off to World War III:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the Bomb
So don't wait up for me
But while you swelter
Down there in your shelter
You can see me
On your TV

While we're attacking frontally
Watch Brinkally and Huntally
Describing contrapuntally
The cities we have lost
No need for you to miss a minute
Of the agonizing holocaust
Yeah!

Little Johnny Jones
He was a US pilot
And no shrinking violet
Was he, he was mighty proud
When World War III was declared
He wasn't scared
No siree!

And this is what he said on
His way to Armageddon:

So long, mom,
I'm off to drop the Bomb
So don't wait up for me
But though I may roam
I'll come back to my home
Although it may be
A pile of debris

Remember, mommy,
I'm off to get a commie
So send me a salami
And try to smile somehow
I'll look for you
When the war is over
An hour and a half from now!