Zinfandels

What do you do when you fall? Now, what about when you're back?
I been so hung up on changing shit, now, who knows how to act?
Put what they want on my tab, put something red in my glass
Between women and bullshitting, I'm put on my ass

I keep my foot on the gas, somehow my mind on the brake
I'm caught up in a couple moments, can't tell what I can take
Been angry, I been a mess, been vacant, I been depressed
I struggle to get dressed, I struggle to send texts

I struggle to find women looking for more than just sex
I struggle to find change; I'm always calling collect
I guess we all need a way, I been drowning in questions
Trying to learn about myself, stuck drowning in lessons

I run, I wait, I wait, I run
I guess that nobody ever said they did it for fun
I guess that nobody ever said they did it for now
Sometimes it's best you keep your feet on the ground
I'll find a way somehow

You know that horrible feeling when shit is up in the air
And you've been motioning through it, but know you're not really there
I spent a lot of time on people who did not really care
Grew sour and pinned blame, I was probably scared

I'm flying off of the ramp, diving into my hands
I been living twice as much, 'cause I was dying in advance
My castle's made of sand; house blown out of glass
Cloned women in my phone, poems falling out the trash

I think I'm going mad, or maybe living too fast
Or living too many lives, now some are about to clash
This summer I had a blast; this winter I couldn't do it
Mirror oh mirror, you are my perpetual nuisance

I guess it's about staying lucid, I guess it's being decisive
Go ahead and ignore the problem, just tell 'em you're trying to fight it
I write, and re-write it, until it helps me to be
Clarity in communication somehow helps you to see

They're all talking, they're all so selfish, hellish, Machiavellian
Messages don't get answered, relationships cling to sentiments

I just look for the best in it, I remember the worst
Stuttering through a prayer, I can't remember the words
Tell me you're never scared, then tell me it never hurts
Just lie until it works, then tell me something that you learned
I could try to go first, but talking isn't a strength
Me walking out of the dirt wasn't worth it if this the end

My life feels like a race I'll be running until I'm dead
Or some kind of musical, but the score of it's in my head
It's always the match-point, the score of it all depends
On what you're willing to break, I'll break it until its bent

See through a different lens, learn from a different mind
Good luck to the ones who left, God save who I left behind
All of it wasn't right, but I knew I had to go
I'm through planning my life, I'm happy that I don't know