Black Bear in a Minivan

I am a black bear
This is my sound
My front and my back hair
A blend a' black and brown
I can hear and see and smell quite well
I'm also territorial
In wintertime I snooze the days away
I'm an omnivore, which means I'll eat
Loads of plants but also meat
Up to 15,000 calories a day
So if you see me
Come September casing the campgrounds
I guarantee
I'll be snackin' packin' on the pounds
Getting ready for complete and utter inactivity
Lowered metabolic rate and muscle atrophy
I've gotta eat but now I've got this brand new plan
My needs are satisfied inside your mini van
I don't wanna eat a buncha' berries
Who would ever wanna work so hard
For dead end calories
So I sift beneath the seats
And I sniff those sticky treats
Left by the kids
I find some
Little snacking crackers from the hands of little snackers
In the cracks of the upholstery
One gaze and it's amazing
They were grazing on some raisins and they left a whole bunch for me
Gobs and gobs of peanut butter globs
Encrusted applesauce
Little baby carrots, stringy meat bits
I'm gonna need a little dental floss
'Cause I'm a black bear making my stand
In the back chair of your minivan
It's the vehicle for me
With the best fuel efficiency
It's hibernation preparation
For bears across the nation
From Denali to Yosemite
Mid autumn and I'm getting tired
I nip a little sip of the coffee from the console
Now I'm wired
I eat all the mints and gum
Hibernation here I come
With fresh breath
There's no
Finer tree climber, I'm a winner of a swimmer
And fast – as a rule of thumb
I'm very solitary my primary adversary
Is a new condominium
Every April
I come out of my den
Feast with a fury
'til October comes again
I'm just a black bear making my stand
In the back chair of your minivan
Hold up
A mini van is a big temptation
For a bear, preparin' for hibernation
Now that I've ruined the family vacation
I think it's time for some vocalization
Now everybody go "Urrr urrr"
"Urrr urrr"
"Urrr urrr"
"Urrr urrr"
That means a bear is happy
Now everybody go "breath breath clack, clack, clack"
"breath breath clack, clack, clack"
That means a bear is scared
Now everybody go "moan"
"moan"
"moan"
"moan"
That means a bear is angry
Now everybody go "hehehohoho"
"hehehohoho"
"hehehohoho"
"hehehohoho"
Do bears do that?
No they just make me happy!
'Cause I'm a black bear just making my stand
In the back chair of your minivan
It's the vehicle for me
With the best fuel efficiency
It's hibernation preparation
For bears across the nation
From the Redwoods to the Rockies
Isle Royale to the Smokies
Shenandoah to Acadia
Yellowstone, Big Bend and Sequoia
Glacier down to Canyonlands
Great Basin, Zion and the Grand Tetons
Denali to Yosemite