find the body

Diagnose me all the same
I don't have weights in my pockets, it's just my legs
And some days I think I've lost it
And other days I feel just okay

I do it under the guise of self-improvement
Like I'm movin' in a better direction than I was before
'Cause these days, goin' backwards
Feels better than not movin' at all

I tell you that I'm tired of myself
I'm tired of this feeling

That I'm always fucking feeling, 'cause I just can't let it go
Every time I'm in the deep end, I let the water in my lungs
Drown me from the inside out, 'cause I won't let it leave me
'Til I'm fucked up in the head, I'll wake up somewhere else instead
Of being in your way, book a hotel, stay for a week
Before they'd find the body

I hope you all forget about me

And they'll say, "She
Was such a lovely girl
I never would've guessed that she was hurting
Throwing up and cursing the world"

And they'll say, "She
Was such a pretty girl (mm)
I never would've guessed she wanted surgery
On her face and on her body as well"

But I told you I was tired of myself
Tired of the feeling

That I was always fucking feeling, 'cause I just wouldn't let it go
And when I was in the deep end, I let the water in my lungs
Drown me from the inside out, 'cause I wouldn't let it leave me
'Til I was fucked up in the head, I woke up somewhere else instead
Of being in your way, booked a hotel, stayed for a week
Before they'd found my body

I guess you all forget about me