Catharsis

I ain't tryna fall in love again
The more I fell the more I'm suffering
Cause when I do I put my all or nothin' in
Mental health it's always fuckin' with
Another L cause I care too much
Pull my heart out the fire can't burn it up again
Need to start being selfish for once
Cause them lessons you taught me I learned enough of them

Type shit
Wish I could have known it was like this
Spent so much time on the wrong girl
So many times start to think that
I won't ever find the right chick
Even if I did find the next one
I could shoot my shot and might miss it
Or end up like me and my ex was
And be off and on like light switches

Swept so much under the rug
Till we finally ready to pull the plug
Maybe someday we could work it out
But it won't ever be what it was
Tell me your story I won't believe it
Trust issues have me overthinking
Breadcrumbs of hope for the relationship been
Floating in the ocean now the boat was sinking

Your words sound good but I prefer actions
Had me feeling hurt when I heard that shit
I forgive you but you ain't coming back
You already burned that bridge
And I won't make the same mistake again
How you did me so dirty had to learn that quick
Now the next girl that want my trust
Gon' have to really earn that shit

When we first met up
I was so glad that I finally found you
All that time together
Couldn't imagine living life without you
Miss those days
Somewhere I guess the love we outgrew
Shit done changed
Now I barely give a fuck about you

Can't sleep so I toss and turn
Thinkin' bout the cards I'm dealt
It ain't even that I lost the girl
I'm more pissed off that I lost myself
Caught up in your web of lies
Wish I could have read ya mind
Been in my head
Don't understand what I'm hearing
Thought about it every time
Values that I jeopardize
made it hard to recognize the man in the mirror

And it ain't a good feeling
When I'm in that mood
He really need to get back soon
Had the confidence like rocking the
Biggest cock in the locker room
Lately I ain't been that dude
They asking what's stopping you I wish I knew
But I promise Ima handle it I can't give up
Face the damage that I'm left with and raise the standards
Next chick gotta checklist to make the cut

She gotta have what I need
When she ask what I told her
Kind heart and a beautiful mind
Someone actually honest
She always down for the ride
Doesn't even ask where we goin
You could look and see the soul in her eyes
And it make you wanna capture the moment

Wishing it would last a lil longer
Holding on to every detail the glow on her skin
How her hair blow in the wind
The way she make me feel way more than a man
I'd like to let these walls down eventually
Even though I know in the end
She might just leave me with all of the memories
Then I'll be back to being lonely again