all i've missed

I'm sorry for the silence, for the calls I never make
For the dinners left behind, and promises I break
Life's been a restless race, and I'm worn from the run
Stretched so thin I fade like a shadow in the sun

And I feel the weight of all I've missed
A thousand small moments in the haze and mist
I'm sorry for the space, the walls I've made
The love I feel, but can't quite say
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry for the distance I've become

Mama, I see the worry in your eyes so deep
And my pups lie waiting by the door, curled up asleep
You don't know how I ache, the shame buried inside
For each day that I fail to be by your side

And I feel the weight of all I've missed
A thousand small moments in the haze and mist
I'm sorry for the space, the walls I've made
The love I feel, but can't quite say
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry for the distance I've become

To my friends who ask but hear me say
I'm busy, maybe some other day
To my love, who waits with patience deep
While I lose myself, too tired to keep

I'm sorry for the moments I let slip away
The laughter left unheard, the words I never say
For all the nights you sat there, waiting alone
As I wove walls of regret from seeds I've sown
I've watched the years drift by, lost in my own haze
Trading love for the chaos of my endless days
You deserved so much more than my fading light
But I'm trapped in a shadow, too tired to fight

I know it's not enough, these words that come too late
To fill the empty spaces that I helped create
But if I could hold those hours, turn them back around
I'd break down these walls, try to stay and be found