Seeing stars

I tell myself it's black and white
Either I'm too weak or I'm dying inside
If I told you the truth I'd be delusional
Today I'm sick but tomorrow I'm beautiful
Won't even see the tip of the ice
Passing out in the shower will give me a high
I'm not losing enough of anything but my mind
But you don't wanna hear it
I'm 'pretty' aren't I?

Can't tell you that I'm on the fucking floor
Crying in the bathroom
At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum
Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space
God I wish it wasn't this way
But I'm only seeing stars because I have to

I drink three cups of coffee a day
So I don't feel myself start to slip away
And maybe this time I can go forty-eight
Drown myself in baggy clothes
Just to sleep the hours away
And finally I won't feel anything
It's a war I guess I'll fight alone
They don't think it's real unless you're skin and bones

And here I am on the fucking floor
Crying in the bathroom
At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum
Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space
God I wish it wasn't this way
But I'm only seeing stars because I have to
Because I have to

Nothing gets you through pain
Like knowing it's worth it
There's no reward if you haven't suffered for it

Won't tell you that I'm on the fucking floor
Crying in the bathroom
At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum
Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space
And God, I wish it wasn't this way
But I'm only seeing stars because I have to
Can't tell you that I'm only seeing stars because I have to
Because I have to