In The Grass

It was a warm day, the kind where the sun clung to the earth, pressing down like a hand on the forehead. She lay sprawled in the grass, unable to stand, but if someone asked, she'd say she didn't mind. The blades of grass tickled her face as she closed her eyes, drifting. She wanted to cry, to flood the earth with all that was knotted up inside, but her eyes stayed dry, empty
Her body felt brittle, cracked like stones in the summer sun, and every breath she took clawed its way out, her chest tight, her head hot. But the air was bright, light, almost floating around her, bringing whispers of an ocean breeze she could only half remember. She could feel her heart racing, struggling to catch up with the steady, heavy pounding beneath her ribs
Somewhere, sugar coursed through her veins, thick and draining, pinning her to the earth like gravity. She kissed the grass beneath her and silently added another tally to her collection. She felt so light, so heavy, all at once, each muscle straining to move but sinking further down, rooted by something deep and relentless
Her stomach churned, her heart drumming in her ears, and her thoughts raced, whirling faster than she could grab hold of them. Somewhere beyond her closed lids, the sunlight gleamed too bright, casting halos around the fuzzy white clouds
She didn't know if she cared anymore, but she knew she wasn't trying. She didn't know if she cared anymore, but lying here, her body melting into the earth, she knew: she was drifting. And maybe that meant she was dying