Shouldn't Be Here

And I'm giving it all back
Every little something
That kept me from coming up
Kept you from coming thru
Put us on wrong tracks
Opened up big cracks
And kept us from being cool
I know it's been lot of years
Some indiscretions
Led to a lotta tears
A lot of contempt
A lot of time spent
Wasting away
Cutting my mind
Stepped on my pride
Drifting astray
Wonder if we go'n make the day

So I'm giving it all back
Letting my whole past fade away
Bury it deep and don't mark the grave
'Cause everything I need to belong is gone
There's nothing left for me to believe in
My soul grieves
That dash of spice in our lives
We lost, nothing was tasting right
I knew the price couldn't afford the cost
Though I had means
I stopped reaching for strings
Let those feelings sail away

Still don't know my
Left from right
Still don't know my
Lows from highs
All I knew was
Loud and clear
All I see is
I shouldn't be here

I'm giving it all back
All of the memories, all of the fun
All of the misery, all of my sanity
Let all the passions run
Out of my body onto the street
Leaving me empty
Shedding this all completely
Maybe right here now ain't where I'm s'posed to be
At some nadir
Searching for peaks that's out of reach
In twenty-six weeks could I turn this all around
Drop the dead weight holding me down
Stop all this gasping for air, breathe
Avoid distractions and lead
Untie every part of me
Sometimes I wish we didn't do some of the things that we did
But what good is it to admit it
It's like I channeled some Ra
But I don't know if I'll make that far as a sideshow
So I just brace for the blow
Grabbing a scythe for the outgrowth
Hope that I don't swing it

Still don't know my
Left from right
Still don't know my
Lows from highs
All I knew was
Loud and clear
All I see is
I wouldn't be here
Without you