Purgatory

(And I should've let you know)

I didn't want you to go
No I didn't want you to leave
I couldn't make up my mind
So I guess you're fed up with me
Used to keep scars on the low
Now I put my heart on my sleeve
Now I'm stuck here all alone
And sometimes it's hard to believe
Oh, oh
Ohh oh oh
Like no no no no no

The young key finders, locked some doors we had to leave behind us
Buzzin' like a beehive, there's substance in these reminders
I'm seeking guidance in the bleakest of silence
Reaching for signs and hoping I can get my chi in alignment
Being defiant, truth is I could never read where the lines is
Reap the refinement, on the page is where I bleed when I'm blinded
Even if i did find my way to inner peace from confinement
Demons still creep in the night while I turn these seeds into diamonds
Look, I guess, there's a lot of sh*t I need to digest
Digress, way too much weight to bear on my chest
Timeless, but there's less time for my mind's rest
And i'm stressed, fly from the nest and take the sky west
When you stuck in quarantine that sh*t can be a horror scene
Balancing my heart and mind and dealing with a war between
Challenging my art to find some healing in these gorgeous streams
The alchemist when stars align, revealing all your purest dreams
Lost some to suicide, we lost some to cancer
Lost some to violence, what's the cost of these answers?
I carry all these burdens 'til they start to make my back hurt
I can't keep holding myself to these godforsaken standards
I'm burnt, shattered
The words splattered, reverse patterns
Every verse scattered
Collect my thoughts like dispersed matter
Rose from with dirt, and then wrote the curse backwards
We chose the narrative in our worst chapters

I didn't want you to go
No I didn't want you to leave
I couldn't make up my mind
So I guess you're fed up with me
Used to keep scars on the low
Now I put my heart on my sleeve
Now I'm stuck here all alone
And sometimes it's hard to believe
Oh, oh
Ohh oh oh
Like no no no no no
And I should've let you know

I didn't want you to go
Leave
Go
Fed up with me
Oh
I put my heart on my sleeve
No
I was just trying to get free

I cannot breathe
Late at night
My soul been on ice