Bitch Ass Santa

I must be wilin'
I must be in a dream
It's still October
And yet there's red and green
In every aisle
In every window scene
This bitch-ass Santa
Just stole my Halloween

I'll be pulling down tinsel and snow
Bring me jack-o-lanterns, spiders, and ghosts
Find me waiting at the chimney with bones
Broken skeletons and a heart of coal

I must be wilin'
I must be in a dream
It's still October
And yet there's red and green
In every aisle
In every window scene
This bitch-ass Santa
Just stole my Halloween

Standing in line and I'm tryin' to buy candy
Can't stand the things that the season's demandin'
There should be no reason I'm seein' St. Nicholas next to a pumpkin
That shits so ridiculous
Grinding my teeth
As I try to remember
When Christmas was Christmas and not September

Why are the traffic lights covered in holly?
Why does my coffee say "I'm feelin' jolly"?
My neighbors are watching the "Home Alone" sequel
House is lit up like a Catholic cathedral
Dressed at their party as Evel Knievel
Drinkin' their eggnog and praying it's lethal
I wanted a season with skeletons twerkin'
Goblins and demons in parking lots jerkin'
Gimmie the spooky and save all the merry
Before I give Santa a taste of the scary

I must be wilin'
I must be in a dream
It's still October
And yet there's red and green
In every aisle
In every window scene
This bitch-ass Santa
Just stole my Halloween

(Laughs)
That's right, St. Dick
You've been oversteppin' your boundaries for a long time
You better stay in December where you belong
'cause if I catch you in October again
It's on sight, bitch

I must be wilin'
I must be in a dream
It's still October
And yet there's red and green
In every aisle
In every window scene
This bitch-ass Santa
Just stole my Halloween

I'll be pulling down tinsel and snow
Bring me jack-o-lanterns, spiders, and ghosts
Find me waiting at the chimney with bones
Broken skeletons and a heart of coal