Deeper Down

An unfortunate journey
Through a bleak sea of loneliness
I carved through the waves of grief
In a black vastness of self-doubt

I have never felt so alone
So pitiful and wretched and low
I'm tried by a terrible wind
The misery and the pains blow

Fill my vast sails of ruin
Steer me towards a bleak end
A horizon of purples and reds
The still waters of my welcome end

The clouds of grey come overhead
A storm will hunt me down
And rip the guts out of my body
That I would surely drown

The unforgiving wind searches
And lashes me like a whip
The self-pity overwhelms me
My heart sinks like a ship

Thrashing out at torment and pain
The maddened sea engulfs me
I let myself be swallowed up
The magnificent weight upon me

Deeper I go, deeper down
Didn't think it could get any blacker
The cold bites, the pressure builds
I think I no longer matter

Are my eyes open or closed?
The grieving waters swallow
The pain I'm in through my life of sin
The devil will doubtless follow

When lovers die, friendships fade
When kin all lie forgotten
The gates of agony spew forth
Your memories, stinking and rotten

So deep now, I feel so numb
Ravaged by utter loss
The guilt, the grief, the astounding pain
My body, they all will wash

I hope I never return to life
Oh Christ, just let me go
Let death devour my simple soul
Lest my misery grow