The Bucking Machine

I've rode lots of horses, and I've won a one a few shows
Ridin' broncs at the big old rodeos
But the dangdest contraption that I've ever seen
Is that bucket of bolts called a buckin' machine

The kids they were all lined up to give the thing a go
And when I first saw it, Lord, it looked pretty slow
It jumped, and it kicked then it turned back a twirled
Then I got to thinkin', "I'll give it a whirl"

So I pushed through the crowd and I talked to the man
Who had invented this here modified garbage can
I said, "I'm a twister and one of the best"
I'm a wolf of the world, boys I must confess

I'll bet you a hundred, I said with a grin:
"I'll spur it so hard its sides cave in"
And the bolts and the screws that hold the dang thing together
Will fall down inside it there and short out its motor

Well, the man he said, "Son, I'll take that bet
And I won't turn it 'til you think that you're set"
So I got my riggin' and I cinched it on down
Then I said to old Sam, "Go ahead and turn it on"

Well it rattled, and it groaned, then it started to move
I spurred it every jump, and, Lord, it felt mighty smooth
The foam rubber was a-flyin' right off of its old neck
And the tin underneath it was startin' to crack

I looked at the man and I started to say:
"I'll win me that hundred 'fore the end of the day"
Then he grabbed a big ol' lever with a little sly grin
Jammed it up to high gear and locked it right on in

With a snatch and a jerk and a sharp stabbin' pain
I felt like a hobo tied to an old freight train
My head it went to poppin' and I saw all the starts
The Big Dipper of the Milky Way and the planet they call Mars

The next thing I knew, I was right there on the ground
Just about thirty feet away from that laughin' crowd
So I payed up my hundred, and I limped on away
And the words the man said, I still remember today

"So you're a wolf of the world and a real tough twister
Well, listen real close to some good advice, mister
Keep a ridin' them old broncs if you're still feelin' mean
But you'd better keep clear of Sam's buckin' machine!"