The Wild West Is Where I Want to Be

Now if I may indulge in a bit of personal history, a few years ago
I worked for a while at the Los Alamos scientific laboratory in
New Mexico. I had a job there as a spy. No, I guess you know
that the staff out there at that time was composed almost exclusively
of spies... of one persuasion or another. And, while I was out there,
I came to realize how much the Wild West had changed since the good
old days of Wyatt Earp and "Home on the Range", and here then is a
modern cowboy ballad commemorating that delightful metamorphosis called
"The Wild West Is Where I Wanna Be":

Along the trail you'll find me lopin'
Where the spaces are wide open
In the land of the old A.E.C. Yee-hoo!
Where the scenery's attractive
And the air is radioactive
Oh, the Wild West is where I wanna be

'Mid the sagebrush and the cactus
I'll watch the fellows practice
Droppin' bombs through the clean desert breeze
A-ha!
I'll have on my sombrero
And of course I'll wear a pair o'
Levis over my lead B.V.D.'s

I will leave the city's rush
Leave the fancy and the plush
Leave the snow and leave the slush
And the crowds
I will seek the desert's hush
Where the scenery is lush
How I long to see the mush-room clouds

'Mid the yuccas and the thistles
I'll watch the guided missiles
While the old F.B.I. watches me
Yee-hoo!
Yes, I'll soon make my appearance
(Soon as I can get my clearance)
'Cause the Wild West is where I wanna be