You Must Meet My Wife

She lightens my sadness, she livens my days
She bursts with a kind of madness, my well ordered ways
My happiest mistake, the ache of my life
You must meet my wife

She bubbles with pleasure, she glows with surprise
Disrupts my accustomed leisure and ruffles my ties
I don't know even know quite how it began
You must meet my wife, my Anne

One thousand whims to which I give in
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented a fashion

So sun like, so winning, so unlike a wife
I do think that I'm beginning to show signs of life
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow
If you met my wife, you'd know

Dear Fredrik, I'm just longing to meet her sometime

She sparkles, how pleasant, she twinkles, how nice
Her youth is a sort of present whatever the price
The incandescent, what the love light of my life, yes
You must meet my wife, yes, I must, I really must, now

She floats, isn't that alarming? What is she, a bird?
She makes me feel I'm what, a very old man, yes, no, no?
But I must meet your Gertrude, my Anne, sorry, Anne

She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash
Then she'll save the cigar butt
Bizarre, but you're joking

She dotes on your dimple
My snoring, how dear
The point is she's really simple
Yes, that much seems clear

She gives me funny names, like?
Old dry as dust, wouldn't she just?
You must meet my wife
Yes, I must, yes, I must

A sea of whims that I submerge in
Yet so lovable in repentance
Unfortunately still a virgin
But you can't force a flower
Don't finish that sentence

She's monstrous, she's frightened
Unfeeling, unversed
She'd strike you as unenlightened
No, I'd strike her first

Her reticence, her apprehension
Her crust, no, yes, no, Fredrik
You must meet my wife
Let me get my hat and my knife

What was that?
I must meet your wife
Yes, you must, yes, I must