Worst Pies In London

A customer!
Wait, whats your rush? Whats your hurry?
You gave me such a - fright!
I thought you was a ghost half a minute
Can't ya sit, sit you down, sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me heads a little vague
Ugh - what is that?
But you'd think we'd have the plague
From the way that people
Keep avoiding
No, you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir
But there's no one comes in even to inhale
HA!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them, I should know
I make them, but good? No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite, the worst pies in London
If you doubt it take a bite!
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here drink this you'll need it!
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
Never - thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor
Animals
What are dying in the street
Mrs Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business
But I noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbours cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her
What I calls
Enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you them pussy cats is quick!
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like its molting
And tastes like, well, pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Oh, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard!