If I Were a Rich Man

Dear God, you made many, many poor people
I realize, of course, it's no shame to be poor
But it's no great honor either
So, what would have been so terrible
If I'd had a small fortune?

If I were a rich man
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man, ha!
Wouldn't have to work hard
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum
If I were a biddy biddy rich
Deeda deeda deedle didle man

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen
Right in the middle of the town
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below
There would be one long staircase just going up
And one even longer coming down
And one more leading nowhere, just for show

I'd fill my yard with chicks
And turkeys and geese
And ducks for the town to see and hear
Squawking just as noisily as they can
And each loud quack and a buk-buk
And a wack-wack and a pak-pak
Will land like a trumpet on the ear
As if to say, "Here lives a wealthy man"

If I were a rich man
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man, ha!
Wouldn't have to work hard
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum
If I were a biddy biddy rich
Deeda deeda deedle didle man

I see my wife, my Golde
Looking like a rich man's wife
With a proper double chin
Supervising meals to her heart's delight, haha!
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock
Ay, what a happy mood she's in
Screaming at the servants, day and night

The most important men in town
Will come to fawn on me
They will ask me to advise them
Like a Solomon the wise
"If you please, Reb Tevye"
"Pardon me, Reb Tevye"
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes

And it won't make one bit of difference
If I answer right or wrong
When you're rich, they think you really know

If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit in the synagogue and pray
Maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall
And I'd discuss the holy books
With the learned men, seven hours every day
That would be the sweetest thing of all

If I were a rich man
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man
Wouldn't have to work hard
Dada deeda deeda deedle dada deeda deeda dum

Lord who made the lion and the lamb
You decreed I should be what I am
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan
If I were a wealthy man?