I Can't Do It Alone

Ladies and gentlemen
Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation

My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou' a week at least, oh sure
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased

Oh I know it's sad of course
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains is the remains
Of a perfect
Double
Act

Roxie do you know you are exactly the same size as my sister?
Oh you would fit into her wardrobe perfectly
Look, a-ha, why don't I just show you some of the act, huh?
Watch this

Now you have to imagine this with two people
It's swell with two people

First I'd
'Bada-bada-bada-bada-bada-bada-bada-bada'
Drums
Then she'd
'Wah-wah-wah-wah wah-wah-wah-wah'
Saxophone
Then we'd
'Bada-bada-bada wada wah-wah' together
But I can't do it alone

Then she'd

Then I'd

Then we'd

But I can't do it alone

She'd say "What's your sister like?"
I'd say "Men!"
Yuck yuck yuck!
She'd say, "You're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again

When she'd go

I'd go

We'd go

And then those ding dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more

And we'd say, "Ok fellas, keep your socks up
You ain't seen nothing yet!"

But I simply cannot do it alone
Well what'd ya think?
Come on, look, you can say
"Pfft!"

Ok, ok, uh
Well the first part can always be rewritten, yeah sure
But the second part was really nifty
Ok, watch this

Then she'd

Then I'd

See get it? Right? I kick really high
Then we'd

But I can't do it alone

She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?"
I'd say, "ill!" Did you get that?
She'd say, "Turn your motor off!"
"Ring-ung-ung-ung"
I can hear 'em cheerin' still

When she'd go

I'd go

We'd go

Sideways!

And then those two-bit Johnnys did it aproud
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
And we'd say "Ok fellas, ok we're going home
But here's a few more partin' shots!"

And this, oh, this we did in perfect unison
Ch-ch-ch-ch
Cymbals, crash-crash-crash

Now you see me going through it
You can see there's nothing to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!