Big Fanny

Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.

She weighed 300 pounds, stood 5 foot 5
And had an odor more dead than alive.
Had black greasy hair on her dimpled chin
And her big belly rumbled like a lion's den, Big Fanny.

No one knew who was Fanny's daddy
She turned up one day in a wet rice paddy
Just lookin' stupid and standin' stiff
And even the dogs refused to sniff of Big Fanny

Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.

Some say she came from around Hanoi,
Where she got in a fight with some VC boys.
She blew her garlic breath in those VC's face
And they dropped like flies all over the place, Big Fanny.

The cops finally put Big Fanny in jail,
Gave her thirty days, wouldn't set no bail.
She gave a mighty belch and struck a match
And the gas blowed a hole in that booby-hatch, Big Fanny.

Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.

Big Fanny was up in the mountains one night
A fight with a bear in the soft moonlight.
The bear struck a claw in Fanny's eye
And all of the people said good-bye to Big Fanny.

But Fanny got tired of playing with that bear
And grabbed two handfuls of his mangy hair.
She gave a karate chop and a judo roll
And knocked that grizzly critter out cold, Big Fanny.

Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.

Big Fanny hung around for a couple of years
Smoking cigar butts and mooching beers.
And then one morning she was up and gone
Back to the jungle huntin' Viet Cong, Big Fanny

On the jungle roads in North Viet Nam
There's trees a-growin' with signs nailed on.
They say "If you leave this road, be careful pal
Somewhere in that jungle is a big bad gal", Big Fanny.

Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.

There wasn't anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and
she weighed... three... hundred pounds.