Montage, Pt. 2: Nothing

So excited because I'm gonna go to the high school of performing arts!
I mean, I was dying to be a serious actress
Anyway, it's the first day of acting class and we're in the auditorium and the teacher, Mr. Karp
Oh, Mr Karp
Anyway, he puts us up on the stage with our legs around each other, one in back of the other
And he says, "Okay, we're gonna do improvisations
Now, you're on a bobsled
It's snowing out, and it's cold
Okay, go"

Every day for a week we would try to feel the motion
Feel the motion
Down the hill
Every day for a week we would try to hear the wind rush
Hear the wind rush
Feel the chill

And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul to see what I had inside
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried, I tried!

And everybody's going "Woosh! Woosh!
I feel the snow, I feel the cold, I feel the air!"
And Karp turns to me, and he says
"Okay Morales, what did you feel?"

And I said
"Nothing, I'm feeling nothing"
And he said
"Nothing could get a girl transferred"
They all felt something
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling that this bullshit was absurd

But I said to myself, "Hey, it's only the first week
Maybe it's genetic!
They don't have bobsleds in San Juan"

Second week!
More advanced and we had to be a table
Be a sports car
Ice cream cone
Mr. Karp, he would say "Very good!
Except Morales
Try Morales
All alone "

So I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see how an ice cream felt
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried to melt

The kids yelled "Nothing!"
They called me "nothing"
And Karp allowed it
Which really makes me burn
They were so helpful
They called me hopeless
Until I really didn't know where else to turn

And Karp kept saying
"Morales, I think you should transfer to Girls High
You'll never be an actress, never"
Jesus Christ!

Went to church
Praying "Santa Maria, send me guidance!
Send me guidance"
On my knees
Went to church
Praying "Santa Maria, help me feel it!
Help me feel it
Pretty please"

And a voice from down at the bottom of my soul came up to the top of my head
And the voice from down at the bottom of my soul
Here is what it said

"This man is nothing!
This course is nothing!
If you want something, go find a better class
And when you find one
You'll be an actress"
And I assure you that's what finally came to pass

Six months later I heard that Karp had died
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And cried
'Cause I felt
Nothing

I mean I didn't want him to die or anything but-
The summer I turned fifteen I lied about my age
So I could join AGVA
You know, the night club union

'Cause I could make sixty dollars a week
Workin' these strip joints outside of Kansas City
I worked this one club for about eight weeks straight
And I really became friendly with this stripper

Her name was Lola Latores
And her dynamic twin forty-fours
Well, she really took to me
I mean, we did share the only dressing room and she did a lot of dressing

Anyway, she used to come and pick me up
And drive me to work nights
Well, the neighbors would all be hanging outside their windows
And she'd drive up in her big pink Cadillac
Convertible
And smile

And then I'd come tripping out of my house
With my little tuxedo on and my tap shoes in my hand
And we'd just take off down the block-

Goodbye twelve (With her long)
Goodbye thirteen (flaming, red hair)
Hello, love! (just blowing in the wind!)

Why do I pay for all those lessons?
Dance for Grandma!
Dance for Grandma!

My God, that Steve McQueen's real sexy!
Bob Goulet out!
Steve McQueen in!

You cannot go to the movies until you finish your homework!

Wash the car!
Stop picking your nose!

Oh darling, you're not old enough to wear a bra
You've got nothing to hold it up!

Locked in the bathroom with Peyton Place

Tits! When am I gonna grow tits?

If Troy Donahue could be a movie star, then I could be a movie star

Well, when the guys on the block saw Lola, they all wanted to know what the story was
So I told them about this big hot, heavy, romance we were having
But actually, she was going with this-

Little brat!
That's what my sister was!
A little brat!
And that's why I shaved her head!
I'm glad I shaved her head!
But then my father lost his job
So we had to leave El Paso
And we wound up in St. Louis, Missouri
Well, it was the furthest thing from my mind
To be a dancer but my mother would embarrass me so
When she'd come to pick me up at school
With all those great, big, yellow rollers in her hair
No matter how much I begged her and she'd say
"What? Are you ashamed of your own mother?"
But the thing that made my daddy laugh so much
Was when I used to jump and dance around the living room