A Little Night Music: You Must Meet My Wife

She lightens my sadness
She livens my days
She bursts with a kind of madness
My well-ordered ways
My happiest mistake, the ache of my life
You must meet my wife

She bubbles with pleasure
She glows with surprise
Disrupts my accustomed leisure
And ruffles my ties
I don't know even now quite how it began
You must meet my wife, my Anne

One thousand whims to which I give in
Since her smallest tear turns me ashen
I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented
Contented a fashion

So sunlight, so winning
So unlike a wife
I do think that I'm beginning to show signs of life
Don't ask me how at my age one still can grow
If you met my wife
You'd know

Dear Fredrik
I'm just longing to meet her
Sometime

She sparkles (how pleasant)
She twinkles (How nice)
Her youth is a sort of present
Whatever the price
The incandescent - what, the (light) of my life
You must meet my wife
Yes, I must
I really must
No

She flutters
How charming
She twitters
My word
She floats
Isn't that alarming?
What is she?
A bird?

She makes me feel I'm what -
A very old man?
Yes. No! (No?) But
I must meet your Gertrude
My Anne
Sorry, Anne

She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash
Then she'll save the cigar butt
Bizarre, but - you're joking

She dotes on (your dimple)
My snoring (how dear)
The point is, she's really simple
Yes, that much seems clear
She gives me funny names (like?) Old, Dry as Dust
Wouldn't she just?
You must meet my wife
If I must
Yes, I must

A sea of whims that I submerge in
Yet so lovable in repentance
Unfortunately, still a virgin
But you can't force a flower
Don't finish that sentence

She's monstrous!
She's frightened
Unfeeling
Unversed
She'd strike you as unenlightened
No, I'd strike her first
Her reticence, her apprehension
Her crust (no) Yes (No)
Fredrik!
You must meet my wife
Let me get my hat and my knife
What was that?
I must meet your wife
Yes you must (yes I must)