Reality Check

Neither heaven or hell will take me now 'cause I'm so lost for so long.
Where I fell is where hope gave and it's all gone and I'm all wrong again.

All the while they had me so convinced
That all the trying was somehow worth it.
This denial that I've been drowning in
Had me believe I don't deserve this.

I've been struggling for years
To find what they call home.
And I've been terrified to think
I might still end up all alone.

Neither what is wrong or I think is right for now
Can make up for this. I can't handle it.
And when redemption feels so far out of reach,
It seems hopeless and I'm sure it is.

And all the while I had them so convinced
That I was trying and somehow meant it.
And this denial that I've been drowning in
Had me believe that I was innocent.

I've been struggling for years
To find that they call home.
And I've been terrified to think
I might still end up all alone.

I have made a mockery of all these things that I believe.
And I have lost my faith in all the things I knew when I was young.
And I have been so out of line. It's no one else's fault but mine.
I will take the blame for this if I could learn to just forgive.

I've been struggling for years
To find what theycall home.
And I've been terrified to think
I might still end up all alone.

I've been struggling for years
To find what they call home.
And I've been terrified to think
I might still endup all alone.