What Do You Do with a B.A. in English / It Sucks to Be Me

What do you do with a B.A. in English?
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge
Have earned me this useless degree

I can't pay the bills yet 'cause I have no skills yet
The world is a big scary place
But somehow I can't shake the feeling I might make
A difference to the human race

Morning, Brian
Hi, Kate Monster
How's life?
Disappointing
What's the matter?
The catering company laid me off
Oh, I'm sorry!
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college
And I always thought, oh
What?
No, it sounds stupid
Aww, come on!

When I was little I thought I would be
What?
A big comedian on late night TV
Ha-ha! Oh!
But now I'm thirty-two and as you can see I'm not
Nope!
Oh well
Mmm
It sucks to be me
No
It sucks to be me
No
It sucks to be broke and unemployed
And turning thirty-three, it sucks to be me
You think your life sucks?
I think so
Your problems aren't so bad!

I'm kinda pretty and pretty damn smart
You are!
Thanks! I like romantic things like music and art
And as you know I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have a boyfriend?
Fuck! It sucks to be me
Me too
It sucks to be me
It sucks to be me, it sucks to be Brian
And Kate
To not have a job!
To not have a date!
It sucks to be me

Hey, Rod, Nicky, can you settle something for us?
Do you have a second?
Ah, certainly
Whose life sucks more? Brian's or mine?
Ours!

We live together
We're as close as people can get
We've been the best of buddies
Ever since the day we met
So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset
Oh every day is an aggravation
Come on, that's an exaggeration!

You leave your clothes out
You put your feet on my chair
Oh yeah?
You do such anal things like ironing your underwear
You make that very small apartment we share a hell
So do you, that's why I'm in hell too!
It sucks to be me!
No, it sucks to be me!
It sucks to be me!
It sucks to be me!
Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!

Why you all so happy?
Because our lives suck!
Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly?
Ha! I coming to this country for opportunities
Tried to work in Korean deli but I am Japanese
But with hard work I earn two master's degrees in social work!
And now I a therapist! But I have no clients!
And I have an unemployed fiance!
And we have lots of bills to pay!
It suck to be me! It suck to be me!
I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-suck!
It suck to be me

Excuse me?
Hey there
Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live
Why you looking the way out here?
Well, I started at Avenue A
But so far everything is out of my price range
But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look a 'For Rent' sign!
You need to talk to the superintendent
Let me get him
Great, thanks!

Yo, Gary!
I'm comin' I'm comin'
Oh my God! It's Gary Coleman!
Yes I am! I'm Gary Coleman, from TV's Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money that got stolen by my folks!
Now I'm broke and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes
But I'm here the superintendent! On Avenue Q
It sucks to be you
You win!
It sucks to be you
I feel better now!
Try having people stopping you to ask you
'What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?'
It gets old!

It sucks to be you on Avenue Q
(Sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be us)
But not when we're together
We're together here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do too!

'Til our dreams come true
We live on Avenue Q!
This is real life!
We live on Avenue Q
You're gonna love it
We live on Avenue Q!
Here's your keys!
Welcome to Avenue Q!