Dan, the Dairy Man

I'm in the dairy business and well known everywhere
I might go round and round my round but I'm always on the square
Milk I serve to Mrs Fox, she's deaf so after fourteen knocks
I pour it through her letterbox. I'm Dan the dairyman

Mrs Jones is very fat, she slipped on a butter pat
And underneath her, laid out flat, was Dan the dairyman
Early every morning, there's no more sleep I know
It's moo, moo,
moo and a cock a doodle do, when the rooster starts to crow

Of late I've not seen Mrs Moore, today a nurse came to the door
Instead of two pints she had four from Dan the dairy man
Although the game is tricky I've never yet been caught
I've learnt two gallons make three gills and six pints make a quart
I serve a pub just round about, the barmaid's keen on me no doubt
She fills my empties up with stout for Dan the dairyman

When my eggs they start to crack it smells just like a gas attack
And one by one they throw 'em back at Dan the dairyman
Early every morning, there's no more sleep I know
It's moo, moo,
moo and a cock a doodle do, when the rooster starts to crow
"Oh doctor," shouted one sweet pet can you cure me? I said" you bet'
It's the finest chance that's happened yet to Dan the dairyman

When Mr Johnson homeward goes he gives two knocks quite hefty blows
When it's three knocks Mrs Johnson knows it's Dan the dairy man
"Who's been here?" yelled Mrs Best the cook said, "Nobody, I confessed
Cried the parrot "blimey can't you guess it's Dan the dairy man
Early every morning, there's no more sleep I know
It's moo, moo,
moo and a cock a doodle do, when the rooster starts to crow

They've just broadcast an S.O.S. Ten pretty girls are in distress
They want to know the new address of Dan the dairyman