Franklin Shepard, Inc.

Now, how do you two work together?
Oh, we work togeth-

Oh, may I answer that?

Please!

How do we work together?
Sure
He goes
And I go
And soon we're humming along
Hmmm
And that's called writing a song
Hmmm
Then he goes
And I go
And the phone goes drrrring!
And he goes:
Mutter mutter mutter mutter yes, Jerome
Mutter no, Jerome
Mutter mutter mutter mutter
That's his lawyer, Jerome
Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter
Do it, Jerome!
Click
Sorry, Charley

So I go
And he goes
And I go
And soon we're tapping away
Hmmm
Bzzz! Sorry, Charley
Bzzz! It's the secretary
Bzzz! On the intercom
Yes, Miss Bzzz?
It's a messenger!
Thanks, Miss Bzzz
Will you tell him to wait?
Will you order the car?
Will you call up the bank?
Will you wire the coast?
Will you-

Drrring!
Sorry, Charley
Mutter mutter mutter mutter sell the stock
Mutter buy the rights
Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter
Bzzz! Let me put you on hold
Bzzz! Yes, Miss Bzzz?
It's the interview!
Thanks, Miss Bzzz
Will you tell him to wait?
Will you wire the car?
Will you order the coast?
Will you send up the bank?

And the telephones blink
And the stocks get sold
And the rest of us he keeps on hold
And he's into making movies
And he's now a corporation
Right?

So I play at home
With my wife and kids
And I wait to hear the movie bids
And I've got a little sailboat
And I'm into meditation
Right?

He flies off to California
I discuss him with my shrink
That's the story of the way we work
Me and Franklin Shepard, Inc.

Hahaha I'm surprised at how much I like this
I promise to be honest if you promise to handle the lawsuit!

Ah, ha. Ah...
Now, when you do work together
I've been curious
Which generally comes first, Frank?
The words or the music?

Generally, the contract

That sounds like you think making money is a bad thing for an artist

Money?
Did I say money?
No, I like money a lot
Hmmm
I mean, it's better than not
Hmmm
But when it's
Rww! Money!
Rww! Rww! Money! Rww!
When you're into- money
And you should be!

Listen
Frank does the money thing very well
But you know what?
There are other people who do it better
And Frank does the music thing very well
And you know what?
No one does it better

Still the telephones blink
And the buzzers buzz
And I really don't know what he does
But he makes a ton of money
And a lot of it for me
Right?

So I think: okay
And I start a play
And he somehow knows
'Cause right away
It's drrring!
Hiya, buddy
Wanna write a show?
Got a great idea
We'll own all the rights
With a two-week out
And a turnaround
On the guarantee
Plus a gross percent
Of the billing clause

And there I am in California
Talking deals and turning pink
Back in business and I mean just that
Back with Franklin Shepard, Inc.

Very sneaky how it happens
Much more sneaky than you think
Start with nothing but a song to sing
Next you're Franklin Shepard-

Wait a second, wait
I'm getting in too deep here

Franklin, let me ask you-

See, Frank and I are not that kind of close
Not like we used to be
And a friendship is like a garden
You have to water it and tend it and care about it
And you know what?
I miss it
And I want it back

Look
Nothing permanent has happened
Just a temporary kink
Friendship's something you don't really lose

Ladies and gentleman
Don't let me lose the greatest composer any lyricist ever had
Phone him!
Write him!
Stop him on the street!
You'll recognize him
He's the one going through his checkbook
And tell that man to get back to his piano

Very sneaky how it happens
Every day you're on the brink
First the prizes, then the interviews
Oh, my God! I think it's happened!
Stop me quick before I sink
One more triumph that I can't refuse

In case you didn't notice
This is my first time on TV, and my last!

No, here's the point
Whatever happens
Then we'll all go have a drink
That's the guy I love
The fella who's inside
Mutter mutter mutter mutter quick, Jerome
Get the president
There's a crazy man
On my TV screen
Inside
Bzzz! Bzzz! Drrring!
Inside
Franklin Shepard-
Just write him care of any bank, U.S.A.
Inc.!