Horse

History's chockful of wisdom
on matters involving the heart
There are unions meant to be broken
and some that should never start

You can fall for a woman who's taken
or a mistress who's feeling remorse
but you don't want to ever encounter
the gal who's in love with her horse

Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse
Just to be number two in her world
Run from that stable
As fast as you're able
Don't hitch her trailer
Your pickup will fail her
Don't do battle
when she's in the saddle
Run from the stable now
from that horseback riding girl

Some men won the heart of a mermaid
but never of Catherine the Great
a royal with love for a stallion
a pair they could not separate

Suffer through "National Velvet"
then you may just know why
a sober Elizabeth Taylor
fell for a beast named Pie

CHORUS

You don't get between a dog & her bone
you don't get between a queen and her throne
don't get between the sole of a shoe and a stone
and there's one pair you leave alone

you can chew on the grass of Kentucky
it won't sprout you two more legs
you won't get the speed of a philly
from strappin on their food bags

you can trot through Eastern Virginia
Gallop Chincoteque on all fours
no wildfire maiden will tame you
might as well stay on shore
cuz, fella, you ain't no horse

CHORUS