Jesus the Missing Years - Live

It was raining, it was cold
West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old
So he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the world's about

He went to France, he went to Spain
He found love, he found pain
He found stores so he started to shop
He had no money so he got in trouble with a cop

Kids in trouble with the cops from Israel didn't have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
It was there he met his Irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome
Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, money changers
Spoon benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks

Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
'Cause we all reside down the block inside at 23 Skidoo

Wine was flowing so were beers
So Jesus found his missing years
He went to a dance and said, "This don't move me"
So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie

On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel without a Cause"
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind

You see, him and the wife wasn't getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church

At least not back then anyhow
Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and a Coca Cola and he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
He recorded with the Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package in Southern California for old George Jones

Charlie bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far

The years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry, the world was mean
Well, the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank, all the world smelled like poop
Baby poop that is, the worst kind

So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb
Headed back to Jerusalem to find mom, dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said "Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?"
Jesus said, "God"
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood
They're gonna kill me mama, they don't like me bud

So Jesus went to Heaven
And he went there awful quick
All them people killed him
And he wasn't even sick

So come and gather around me
My contemporary peers
And I'll tell you all the story of Jesus
The missing years

Charlie bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
'Cause we all reside down the block inside at 23 Skidoo
We all reside down the block inside at 23 Skidoo