Hot Rod Lincoln (Live Version)

(I'd like to dedicate this song, ladies and gentlemen, to our old buddy, good buddy)
(Commander Cody, and his lost planet down here)

'Cause my pappy said, 'Son, you're gonna drive me to drinkin'
If you don't quit drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln'

Have you heard the story of the hot rod race
When the Fords and the Lincolns were settin' the pace?
That story's true, I'm here to say
'Cause I was drivin' that Model A

It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up
And that Model A, buddy, makes it look like a pup
It's got 12 cylinders and it uses 'em all
Got overdrive that just won't stall

With 4-barrel carbs and a dual exhaust
And 4:11 gears, you can really get lost
It's got safety too, but honey, I ain't scared
Brakes are good and the tires fair

We pulled out of San Pedro late one night
When the moon and the stars were shinin' bright
We was drivin' up Grapevine Hill
Passin' cars like they were standin' still

All of a sudden, in the wink of an eye
A Cadillac Sedan passed us by
I said, "Boys, that's a mark for me"
By then, the tail lighting was all you could see

Now, the boys all ribbed me for bein' behind
So I thought I'd make that Lincoln unwind
Took my foot off the gas and, man alive
I shoved it down into overdrive

Well, I wound it up to 110
My speedometer said we'd hit top end
My foot was glued like lead to the floor
It's all there is - there ain't no more

Now the boys all thought that I'd lost my sense
And them telephone poles looked like a picket fence
They said, "Ray, slow down, I see spots"
The lines on the road just looked like dots

We took a corner, side-swiped a truck
And I crossed my fingers just for luck
My fender was clickin' the guardrail post
And the guy beside me was white as a ghost

Smoke was comin' from outta the back
When I started to gain on that Cadillac
Well, I knew I could catch him and I thought I could pass
But don't ya know? By then, we'd be low on gas

I had flames comin' from out of the side
You could feel the tension man, what a ride
I said, "Look out, boys, I've got a license to fly"
That Caddy pulled over and let us by
(Pull over, buddy)

Well, all of a sudden she started knockin'
Down in the depths she started rockin'
I looked in the mirror, red light was a-blinkin'
The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln

(Alright, pull it over, you're under arrest, this is a highway patrol, get out of the car with your hands up)
(Put your hands on the car, we need your driver's license, registration, proof of insurance, I-99 form, three years' tax return, I-99 passport, everything you got in your pocket, keep your hands on the car, do not move away from the car)

(Busted in quite your town again)
(That Route 3 on high's a mess)
(Make matters worse, the officer was half my age and half my size and he said, "So?")
(And he continued)
("Son, you have the right to remain silent, the right to be represented by an attorney, anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. Travelin' the sense you've been traveling, you're violating Section C-717, subsection 17575 of the Highway Patrol. We have a video, and could you just tell me, why are you driving a heap like this, son?")

(Said, "Uh, could you repeat that, please?")
(He did, word for word, and right then and there, friends, right then and there I made my second mistake of the night)
(I turned at the fella and I said "Listen, occifer...")
(And I knew I was in deep trouble)
(But friends, it was right then and there, right then and there that I came up with an idea that was gonna get me out of this mess)
(I turned to the fella who were there, snapped a salute, I said "Sir, I couldn't help it, while operating this here vehicle I was asleep at the wheel")

(That's right, I showed him my CD with my picture on it, with my new DVD said "Asleep at the wheel - Ray Dancin'" I gave it to him, figured that's quite the whole deal)
(Well, Wilbur...)

Well, he arrested me and he put me in jail
Then he called my pappy to throw my bail
He said, 'Son, you're gonna drive me to drinkin'
If you don't quit drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln'