Puff That Weed

When the birds are singing, yeah we'll puff that weed
When the streets are dimming, we'll puff that weed
When the cops come knocking, we'll hide that green
When they've gone and been, proceed to puff that weed

1

A dealer named Joel had come from Staines
With 10 keys of weed and a bucket and spade
We filled them up and took them upstairs
And weighed the lot on a set of kitchen scales
It was worth a leather case of paper
Laid out neat, what a cartoon caper
Curtains shut but we missed a crack
Which a neighbour saw and caught us in the act
I wasn't sure if she had witnessed
I closed them tight and took a deep breath
Back to business and I insisted
We speed up the deal I had to get to bed
The dealer stood case in his hand
Ready to leave me with a binbag of grass
The door bang banged loud as bell rang
I heard a shatter of glass and then we both gasped

When the birds are singing, we'll puff that weed
When the streets are dimming, we'll puff that weed
When the cops come knocking, we'll hide that green
When they've gone and been, proceed to puff that weed

2

Was it the police we knew it had to be
Why the racket, their breach of ma peace
To catch me with this stash of green
I need to hide it quick, won't you helpme please
The dealer got onto a step ladder and reached up
Opened a trap door I had been too lazy to touch
I passed him the bag of buds
He shouted back that we were in luck
He jumped back down and said "Hidden well
No eyes scanning the roof could ever tell
Where the weed is I've hung from a rope
Into an abandoned garden well
"What" I shouted "That was nuts
If my weed got wet I'll lose the lot"
I waited not or no ifs or buts I climbed that ladder
And I pulled that rope

When the birds are singing, we'll puff that weed
When the streets are dimming, we'll puff that weed
When the cops come knocking, we'll hide that green
When they've gone and been, proceed to puff that weed

3

Up came nothing as the doorbell raged
I jumped down shouted "go away
I'm busy as hell and i've got a blocked drain
Please come back another day"
Still the doorbell rang reluctant
I opened the door ready to get violent
There standing in her slippers and gown
Was the neighbour who had checked us out
"Can I buy some weed I saw that you have lots
My bones are heavy and they ache a lot
If you sell me a little pot
I'll bake you a pie and keep a watch for the cops
"Actually" I said, "My pot is lost down a deep hole in the garden I'm told
Do you know how I may retrieve it?" There's an ounce in it for you if you help"
"Yes" she said "I know a passage
Into the well long uninhabited
If you accompany me give me a hand
3 hours later and panic over
We turn up with our green clovers
We laugh at our paranoia's and pu that weed
And not a sniff of the police