The Sadder but Wiser Girl

Harold (Spoken): No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent, Sunday School teacher for me. That kind of gal spins webs no spider ever-
Now listen, boy. A gal who trades on all that purity merely wants to trade my independence for her security.
(Sung)
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the isle
No golden, glorious, gleaming, pristine goddess
No, sir!
For no Diana do I play fawn
I can tell ya that right now.
I snarl
I hiss
How can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark
I fizz
For the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer
And I rave
For the virtue I'm too late to say
The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless, baby doll baby
No, sir, that kind of child ties knots no sailor ever knew.
I'd prefer to take a chance
On a more adult romance
No due young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female
No, sir!
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish,
You see, plop!
I flinch
I shy
When the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile
I grin
When the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope
And I pray
For Hester to win just one more "A"
The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder but wiser girl for me