Five Nights Drunk (Child 274)

The first night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw a horse in the stable, where my old horse should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Why is there a horse in the stable where my old horse should be?"
You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
That's only a milk cow my granny sent to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, a hundred miles or more,
But a saddle on a milk cow I never did see before.

The second night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw a hat on the hat rack where my old hat should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Why is there a hat on the hat rack where my old hat should be?"
You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
That's only a milk pail my granny sent to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, a hundred miles or more,
But a sweatband in a milk pail I never did see before.

The third night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw a coat on the coat rack where my old coat should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Why is there a coat on the coat rack where my old coat should be?"
You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
That's only a blanket my granny sent to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, a hundred miles or more,
But pockets on a blanket I never did see before.

The fourth night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw some boots under my bed where my old boots should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Why are there boots under my bed where my old boots should be?"
You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
That's only a bed pan my granny sent to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, a hundred miles or more,
But spurs on a bed pan I never did see before.

The fifth night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw a head on the pillow, where my old head should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Why is there a head on the pillow where my old head should be?"
You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
That's only a mush melon my granny sent to me.
I've traveled this wide world over, a hundred miles or more,
But whiskers on a mush melon I never did see before.

The sixth night that I came home so drunk I couldn't see.
I saw a man running down the streets, but it was after three.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Explain this thing to me.
Who was that man running down the streets, but it was after three?"
"You blind fool, you drunken fool. Can't you never see?
That was the tax collector that the princess sent to me."
"I've traveled this wide world over,
a million miles or more but an Englishman
who could last till three I never saw before.
But an Englishman who could last till three I never saw before."