Harper Valley P.T.A.

I wanna tell you all the story 'bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearin' your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinkin' and a-runnin' round with men and goin' wild
And we don't believe you oughta be a-bringin' up your little girl this way"
And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's breath, you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites!

No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did
It happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.