Who the F**k Is Alice

Sally called when she got the word
She said, "I suppose you've heard
About Alice"
Well, I rushed to the window
And I looked outside
But I could hardly believe my eyes
As a big limousine rolled up
Into Alice's drive

Oh, I don't know why she's leaving, I don't know where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
'Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance
Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

Grew up together
Two kids in the park
Carved our initials deep in the bark
Me and Alice

Now she walks through the door
With her head held high
Just for a moment, I caught her eye
As a big limousine pulled slowly
Out of Alice's drive

I don't know why she's leaving, I don't know where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
'Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

Sally called back, asked how I felt
She said, "I know how to help"
"Get over Alice"
She said, "Now Alice is gone"
"But I'm still here"
"You know I've been waiting 24 years"
Then the big limousine disappeared

I don't know why she's leaving, I don't know where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
'Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel, and maybe get a second glance
But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

No, I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice