Be Our Guest

Be our guest, be our guest
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we provide the rest

Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing, they can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu

Take a glance and then
You'll be our guest
Oui, our guest, be our guest
Beef ragout, cheese souffle

Pie and pudding en flambe
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret

You're alone and you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining

We tell jokes, I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks
Und it's all in perfect taste that you can bet
Come on and lift your glass

You've won your own free pass
To be our guest
If you're stressed
It's fine dining, we suggest

Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest
Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving

He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days
When we were useful

Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years, we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting

Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy

You walked in and oops-a-daisy
It's a guest, it's a guest
Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed

Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert, she'll want tea

And, my dear, that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'

I'll get warm, piping hot
Heaven's sake, is that a spot?
Clean it up, we want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do

Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest, she's our guest
She's our guest, she's our guest
Be our guest, be our guest
Our command is your request
It's ten years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, we'll keep going
Course by course, one by one
'Til you shout, "Enough, I'm done"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep
As you digest
Tonight, you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest
Please be our guest